Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
