She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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