i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
