the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is Oprah even human
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
