I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
