After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
