At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
