BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
