it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
