He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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