some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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