Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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