Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
