she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
