Nicole vs. Life
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
