I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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