I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
