Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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