I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
