i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
