"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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