You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
