capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize