Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
