just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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