I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
