watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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