I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
