Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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