What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
