I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize