Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
