Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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