I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
