Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize