it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
