you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
