I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
