I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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