We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
