she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
