this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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