well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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