Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize