I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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