dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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