You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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