can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
