I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize