i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
