I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize