At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
