is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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