He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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