He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
