Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
