Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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