even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You made out with two different species that night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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