We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize