This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
