People in love make me want to vomit
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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