on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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