The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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