There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
