oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
