i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
