Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
