I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize