went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hippo gnu deer
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
