If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
