lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
