She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
